Snuggling

As I've been studying like crazy for my History of Music test tomorrow, I'm reflecting upon the kitten who has been constantly nudging me and meowing and purring in a loud, insistent way for the past two hours. She is now draped across my stomach, sleeping, in spite of the fact that I'm moving her with every letter I type. Every evening when I come home from school, she appears from the depths of wherever she has spent the day and meows at me in an indignant "where have you been all day??" sort of way, before curling up wherever I finally sit and requiring a cuddle before she leaves me in peace to my work.

In spite of the many times I push her away, or throw her off my lap in impatience because I need to work, or yell at her to "Scat!", she comes back to me - still wanting me, her "mother", to caress her and make her feel loved. Why is that? Why doesn't she give up after a while and go away? Why doesn't she bite me or scratch me in spite after I toss her away for the umpteenth time? Why is this kitten, who I picked out one day at the SPCA because she yowled so loudly and sounded just like my grandmama, giving me so much unearned devotion? And why is she trying to lay across my keyboard as I type this post?

My dad insists that I'm foolish to have gone and gotten myself a pet. I am inclined to agree at times. But there are other times, like right now when Emmeline is lying across my lap and wrapping her arms across my abdoment in a big hug, that I feel I must disagree with dear old Dad. Yeah, I have to buy her food and litter, and she's due to go to the vet soon for her shots - but I wouldn't give her up. Never. Because when she sleeps, she makes this cute little "mrr" sound when she inhales. Baby snores.

People have been telling me most of my life that I would make a good mother. I always laughed at them - stating that I very much doubted I would ever have children, because I doubted that I would ever get married. But, considering that I'm getting all maternal over a cat, I'm rethinking that. Not the marriage part - there are no prospects in the near or distant future - but the kids part. I think that even if I don't ever get married, I would very much like to have at least one child.

In other news, Mandy and R.C. are getting married on Saturday. The rehearsal is tomorrow evening - I am a groomsman, believe it or not. I must say, I'm not really looking forward to the blessed event. I mean, it's wonderful that they're getting married, but - well, I'm tired of being a bridesmaid/groomsman/whatever. I'm tired of watching friends of mine get married and start families. It feels almost as if life is going on without me - I'm left in this stasis. I can't even think of someone I want to spend the rest of my life with - or perhaps I can, but I don't have a chance with them.

Hm. All this because I'm holding a kitten and procrastinating. The things that spring to mind at times like these...