I've been posting a lot within the last few days, on the basis that I'm really just killing time between exams. At this point, I really can't study any more than I already have, and if I do, then I'm going to start doubting myself once I'm actually in an exam - and we don't want that, do we? Today I am taking US Foreign Policy, then I'm going to a job interview, then I'm taking Music Theory II. (I'm so not worried about Foreign Policy that it's scary. Music Theory II is what's freaking me out right now, actually. Once more, there IS a reason why I'm not a music major.)
I keep getting this feeling inside - like something is going to happen. I don't know what and I don't know when and I don't even have an idea of what it could be. But it's GOING to happen and it's GOING to be big.
I can't, of course, help wishing that magically within the next two days, someone will drop Dr. A. on the Vienna trip and say, "Shae, why don't you take my place? It's already paid up - why, of course you can pay me back in monthly installments for the rest of your life! No problem!" Because I would, because I want to go that much. I know I've already had my trip to Europe. I don't deserve any more than that - though I wish I could have gone for longer, or had the foresight to save until NOW - but I'd really just like to go.
I'm too restless. And wishes just don't come true. I shall be content.
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2 comments:
You seem to continually vacillate on whether you're good at music or not. First you're debating doing opera, then you're freaking out about music classes. What gives?
Here's hoping whatever "big" thing happens is a good big thing. There are both varieties, after all.
I "constantly vacillate" over music because that's what absorbs my life right now. I'm so involved in the music department at the moment that I'm going a little bit crazy, and my life seems to be utterly absorbed in it. Just wait - next semester, I won't be able to stop frantically obsessing over theatre.
Also, I'm still hovering on the edge of "what I want to do with my life" come graduation. Graduate school is merely an option - though an opera program does seem very feasible at this point.
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