Human Nature (And All That Jazz)

It's human nature, I suppose, to make mistakes. I think that I've made more than my fair share, especially this year. When I get tangled up in emotional matters, my automatic instinct is to fix what's wrong - and human nature never fails me: If the emotional matters belong to someone else, I can generally fix them or offer advice that will lead to them being fixed. If the emotional matters belong to me, however, I have the horrible tendency towards being unable to fix them - and making them worse, if that is even possible.

I won't offer examples; in part because this journal is public and I really don't like the idea of people I might not even know (or even people I know) reading about my personal matters and analyzing them to death - or laughing - and also because, well, they just don't need to be harped upon anymore. I've made a few decisions, though.

First of all, I've sent in my application to Colonial Williamsburg. We'll see how that goes - I'm sorely underqualified for the position I'm applying for, but they do offer training and if nothing else, I'm enthusiastic. But if I don't get the job, that's okay. I'm almost ready to go to Camp Krislund as a counselor. I miss Krislund and it would make for a fun summer - something which I haven't really had in a while, come to think of it.

Secondly, I need to give some serious thought to my post-graduate life. People keep asking me what I'm going to do with my theatre major and I have to keep replying that I JUST DON'T KNOW. It's kind of a pain in the ass. I'm pretty sure I won't be going to grad school - at least, not yet - but there's the whole conundrum of FINDING SOMETHING TO DO that kind of blows my mind.

Thirdly, there are emotional matters to consider. I stated in an earlier post that I was done with significant others until such a time as I felt I could handle them, which I still agree with. However, recent events have clued me into the fact that just maybe I need to be more vigilant when it comes to guarding against those complications. Okay. Not maybe. Definitely need to be more guarded.

I'm exhausted. I'm worn-out. I just want to be done with this show so that I can give my academics the attention that they deserve. This semester, it is my goal to get my GPA up to a 3.0 once more and I WILL succeed. I'm tired of feeling overwhelmed, and while that seems to be my natural state (22.5 credit hours will do that to you), I would like my natural state to turn into something a little bit more... relaxed, shall we say.