Brain Go 'Splodey

So, I promised introspective. You're not gonna get it this time. Sorry. On to rant.

This morning was going just FINE until Dr. A pulled me into his office to practice my song for the masterclass that was this afternoon. Fine, good, he was my accompianist, we needed the practice. He very politely asks me to sit down. Then he begins, "Miss A, I have not yet excepted the fact that you are not a music major..."

To be brutally honest, I didn't let him get any further than that. I leaped up out of my chair and flew at him, saying in a very loud voice, "Dr. A, this is NOT the week for you to be telling me why I should be a music major. NOT THE WEEK."

See, things have been a little crazy on the music front lately. Ms. F. is requiring twelve papers, plus weekly journals, plus at least seven hours of out-of-classroom practice time per week. This is a two-credit course, keep in mind. It should be worth four credits, as most classes with labs are worth. On top of that, my memorization requirements state that I should have five songs (at least) memorized by the end of the semester. On top of that, Ms. F. and the music department have me singing in about five recitals this semester, at least three of which are not required. I have not yet had the chance to practice with my official accompianist because she does not have the time to give one person more than fifteen minutes every other week for practice, and we missed ours due to a scheduling conflict with a studio recital. (Tomorrow is my final recital. Am I prepared? No. Am I singing? Yes. Logic, where art thou?) On top of this, music history is kicking my ass and I still have to write a paper on frickin' Lully.

To all of this, Dr. A. had the absolute gall to say, "But you're doing the play, Miss A. That's extra stuff - "

"IT'S MY MAJOR!" I protested, flailing wildly. (No matter how often I say this, the music department insists upon believing that my stint in the theatre is just a wild fling and I'll see the error of my ways in time for my senior recital.)

Not only did Dr. A. have this circular discussion with me, but he brought it up to Ms. F. He was appalled at my choice in majors and confronted her, to get me to change my mind. She discussed this with me in my lesson, pointing out that the department was eliminating minor recitals and that I would not be able to have my own recital unless I was a major. If I was a major, the department might be able to make things easier for me. Voice lessons might start having a lighter load. Requirements would be easier. Allowances would be made for my theatre major.

Now, I have a pretty voice. That is undeniable. There is quality there and someday, it might be rather good. However, my voice is not NEARLY remarkable enough to garner this sort of attention from the department. One of my sources told me that she overheard Dr. A. and Ms. F. talking in the department secretary's office and Dr. A. was making me sound like I was the next top voice in the opera world. To which I say "Bullshit!" But I'm puzzled over why they seem to want me THAT MUCH. Ms. F. pointed out that I am not only somewhat talented, but I am also a good musician and I have a good work-ethic. That's not a good enough reason.

I seriously think the theatre department and the music department have a betting pool on - whichever gets the most majors gets the better facility when the new bit is built. Something like that. I don't know. I would just like to have it known that I do NOT appreciate the pressure. (Nor do I appreciate the bribing me with a recital-thing. Dirty pool, that.)