I Had No Choice

I really sort of like this whole two-real-classes per day thing, with no classes on Fridays. Long weekends are fairly excellent inventions. I will be able to go home an entire day early for spring break this year! (Leaving Thursday night after Mads, get home around (9:30 or 10 in the evening, for a good night's sleep and a whole extra day of break! Everybody else's break starts at 2pm on Friday.)

In other news, my minor medical concern will be resolved on Friday for good, which I am a bit relieved about. It interferes with my days too much and it's a bit aggravating occasionally. I'll just be glad to get my appetite back. Until that point, it's yoghurt and dry Life cereal for me! (Mainly because that's what I'm eating now.)

My gentleman caller treats me extremely well. We spent this past weekend together and we went to the most excellent pizza joint ever (called "The Mellow Mushroom", it really just doesn't get much better than that), then on to a wine bar on the downtown mall in Charlottesville, which was so worth it. The ambience was nice, the music was nice and quiet, and the wine was excellent. The next day we went iceskating (and stayed for only twenty minutes because the rink was just SO crowded we could barely move - next time, we're going in the evening). Because we were only there twenty minutes, we gave a couple of very surprised people our skating passes and headed out on our way. There's a restaurant nearby there that sounds dreadful (Beer Run), but is really quite excellent. Their selection of beers was extensive and widely varied, which was lovely to behold, and their food quite decent. It's very common around this area for restaurants to use organic and higher quality produce and the quality really makes a difference.

Since neither of us was feeling particularly well and since we'd ended up staying out far later than we had expected to (long and rather unpleasant story that involves me wanting to kick my gentleman caller's landlord in the teeth), we made the unanimous decision to go and take a nap. We did, and that gave me enough energy that evening to make supper, since it was my turn - he had cooked the last couple of times we ate in. I made groundnut stew and he's still raving about it. I felt very accomplished and proud of myself.

Sunday morning, I drove back to Staunton for church. Since we had a guest choir visiting, that meant that I didn't have to do anything that morning, so I just got to sit and enjoy the service. That certainly made for a nice change.

The weekend was very nice. I'm a bit tired now, but soon all will be well!

Oh the Perfection of Gentry

He can't fit me in to one of his class sections. But he's running a directed inquiry course just for me that will be the equivalent of the math course I need. I need to figure out things this guy likes because I OWE him.

In other news, that makes my life about ten TIMES simpler.

Insanity? Thy Name is Education.

Dude. I hate finding out at the beginning of my last semester that I'm still missing a requirement. It is the least fun feeling IN THE WORLD. However, I have managed to find a course that I won't want to kill myself over too badly, so I think I'll be okay. The real struggle is convincing Dr. Gentry to let me into one of his College Algebra sections. I knew my math problems would bite me in the ass someday. Curses on algebra! And I hope Dr. Gentry pays heed to my pleas.

In other news, life is a little crazy elsewhere, too. I'm in "The Secret Garden", a musical based on that very book by Francis Hogden Burnett and I get to play a ghost. Lily the ghost, actually, and a wife and mother. Never played a wife and mother before, so it should be interesting. Our first rehearsal was lovely and nice and the other cast members seem very pleasant. I think I'm going to have a good time with this one. March will be very stressful, though, because my recital is on one of the Saturday performance days. I'll be running straight from my recital to the show, with my parents and probably my Gentleman Caller in tow.

Ah yes. I have a Gentleman Caller. John dear, you might remember him. He went to high school at Warrior Run and was in Sierra's year. In any case, he lives in Scotsville now and by some wild coincidence we became reacquainted while we were both home for Christmas. We have had several lovely dates and his gentlemanly behavior has never once wavered. It's quite refreshing, actually. We get along very well - and also, he loves to cook. That is always a plus.

Otherwise, things are going well. Some of my lovely ladies who needed to be gone last semester have come back to Mary Baldwin this semester, so I am surrounded by friends and as happy as I can be while worrying about graduation requirements. I'm having a slight medical problem at the moment that I won't go into detail over, but it will be resolved by the end of this month and I will be back in the pink of health.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I've never quite understood that before. But now I think I do. I feel damn good and I think that Greg is quite right....

Also, I think I am liberated. I shall work unto myself now, and I shall not worry about men - they can fend for themselves! (I may be a little intoxicated at this particular moment, but it's okay. Because I feel DAMN GOOD.)

Yes, that is all. Now, to bed and goodnight, all.

Five Months

It's weird. I just can't seem to be in a relationship for longer than five months. It's like, the ultimate time-limit. I'm not going to know what to do with myself if I ever get past that particular amount of time.

Made official last night, I am single once again. Because obviously I suck as a girlfriend. Inquiring minds want to know: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? There MUST be something. Hemingway said he had never fought with a girlfriend the way that we fought. It MUST be me.

Oddly Blank

I think Hemingway and I just broke up. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Self-Centered?

Is it wrong to work your ass off on your senior thesis (which is required for graduation), then be nervous about it until after you've defended it to a committee and gotten distinction? And THEN, is it wrong to want to go straight home and spend a relaxing couple of days exclusively with your family, watching TV, vegging out, and writing that 10-page play analysis of "She Stoops to Conquer" for your Great Plays exam, which is due by 2:00 Friday?

IS THIS WRONG???

I should be feeling triumphant and relieved and maybe a little bit on edge about getting that paper done. How come I had to spend 45 minutes last night arguing with my boyfriend about whether or not I'm a good girlfriend? How come I had to narrowly circumvent being broken up with right there with a trial-run second chance? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING AFTER I DODGED THE NOT-GRADUATING BULLET??? I've been paying (in scholarships, loans, and out-of-pocket money) $30,000 per year for three years, and HE WONDERS WHY I CAN'T SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON HIM???? What the fuck? What. The. Fuck.

I'm a little frustrated. I should be living in "you accomplished a huge thing and you should be proud" land. Instead, I'm living in "is this even worth it when he's being a jerk" land, and I don't appreciate it.

And yes, I do realize I've been busy and stressed and not able to spend much time on my boyfriend, especially since I live 4 1/2 hours away from him on a regular basis. But I don't even get to talk to my PARENTS as much as I talk to him and he STILL isn't happy!!

Also, there's the part where when I visit him on Friday, he's going to want to get physical and I AM HONESTLY NOT IN THE MOOD RIGHT NOW. Something about him being a jerk and him pushing to get physical even when I'm not in the mood that just makes me want to push him away. I really don't know what to do. It wasn't long ago that I was able to imagine spending the rest of my life with him, and now I'm just trying to imagine the next month with him. If it's going to be as unpleasant as it currently is, I'm not sure if I see the point. I don't like feeling like a bad person, and I know that I was right to concentrate on my own graduation rather than my romantic attachments. So why am I letting him make me feel like I was wrong?