Insanity? Thy name is ME

So. Here comes the part where I make everyone aware of exactly how crackers I am. Currently, I am in State College. Doesn't sound so odd, does it? Well, when you bring into account the fact that not 8 hours ago I was in VA....

Here's what happened. I was sitting in my room, chatting on the phone with Hemingway when I came to the sudden realization that I MISSED him. And also that I didn't REALLY need to be at church on Sunday, since we don't have choir for another week. (Yes, aren't I smart?) So, I said, "I really want to see you. You have no idea how close I am to just jumping in the car and..."

And then it hit me. I COULD just jump in the car and drive up. There was nothing stopping me. No commitments, no life-threatening emergencies, no lack of resources.... I was free and clear. I could DO it. I gave myself time to think rationally about it during my meeting with Ms. F., but swiftly came to a decision.

So, here I am. He cooked me pasta. I got a massage. There were smoochies. It's been a pretty damn fantastic evening. And the best part? We're together.

In other news, I have this cough that just won't go away. And auditions on Monday. Woo. Note my excitement.

Long Time Coming

Well. I still live, I promise. It's been such a busy time - nine weeks minus technology or Buffy or a real bed. I've learned how to belay really well (I am more than capable of suspending someone three times my own size on a climbing wall safely), I've learned how to make kids behave (Why? Because I told you. And it builds character.), and I've visited Penn's Cave more times than anyone rightly should (This is a rock chasing a rock over a rock, dammit!).

It's been tough. I didn't think I would be required to think so much, but I was. Practical problem solving, philosophical debate, human relation issues, my own problems that came up to bite me in the butt a few times... Really, you name it. I got a lot of reading done - when you are deprived of reading time, you learn to fit it in and then you learn to devour what you can get. I didn't write very much and I was a bad music student for not studying my music. Actually, I probably abused my voice a lot and I'll have some extreme catching-up to do and vocal pampering to do come this semester just to compensate. My voice teacher will be displeased.

Due to some recent events, I really don't feel like going back to school. I mean, I want to continue on to my senior year. It's going to be an exciting, busy, stressful time. I have a real apartment now, with two awesome flat mates, and I'll be accomplishing my senior project. I have a kickass class schedule that, if I can keep up with it, I'll enjoy a lot. Also, I look really good - my hair, for once, continues to behave admirably well. I haven't lost weight, so much, but only because muscle weighs more than fat and I am now in excellent shape. It's going to be a good year... as soon as I get up the guts to go back down to Virginia.

Believe it or not, I'm really enjoying myself here. A lot. In spite of my sore wisdom-toothless jaw. I need to get some cleaning done now. More posting later - now that I'm back in Internet land, I'm trying to get back to my old blogging habits.

Good/Not So Good

Good Things:
Supper smells divine. Chicken with lemon and onion, grilled asparagus, and salad.
Camp in a few days!!!
I'm relaxed.
Still writing.
I have gotten lots accomplished.

Not So Good Things:
Once more, my fertility is making itself obnoxiously obvious.
Packing is boring.
I'm writing rubbish!
Slowly remembering I can't bring my laptop to camp.

One Rather Dreadful Thing:
I need bifocals. And they're a stronger prescription than my mother's.

Relaxation?

An active mind is a horrible thing to waste. I'm bored. The upshot is that I write more when I'm bored - I've written oodles, none of it remotely decent, but it felt good to banish it from my brain. I've also managed to addict my mother and two of my darling siblings to Buffy the Vampire-Slayer, so I've been able to monopolize the television.

...I'm a very, very bad person. I am well-aware and accepting of that fact. :-D

However, I have gotten quite a lot done, writing-wise. Cooking-wise, too. Momma's been taking advantage of my cooking skills once more and I like doing it - mainly because that means generally, I don't have to do the dishes afterwards. Last night, I invented a meal that was quite lovely. My sister was visiting, so she showed me how to make these Thai potato pancakes (don't ask, I didn't and I'm happier for it) with an excellent dipping sauce. With those, I threw some chicken in the oven slathered in lemon juice, spices and herbs I picked fresh from the garden and minced up, and onion. It was so good. We also had salad, which I admittedly didn't eat - but the rest was excellent. I love experimental cooking. Tomorrow I may bake bread.

On Wednesday, I have an eye-doctor appointment - Dad wants me checked to see if I need new glasses, because my headaches have been becoming more frequent and that generally means I need a stronger prescription. Also, he wants my hearing checked before I go back to school in the fall - the deafness has gotten a little bit worse recently, which is mildly irritating.

I'm excited for camp! We were supposed to start on the 1st, but due to some scheduling interestingness, we had our training scooted to the 8th, which gives me an extra week at home to goof around. Some friends of mine who I went to camp with as a teenager are going to be there and I haven't seen any of them in ages - we've all been getting back in contact and it'll be like a big Teepee reunion! (Yes, we slept in teepees, and yes, that's how we spelled it. Get over it. Teeps '03 rule!)

In any case, soon I will be living in the woods with very very limited access to Internet. Also, I think I get cell phone reception in two places at the camp. However, I'm excited. I can still get to my email during office hours and I'm going to see old friends and I don't have to talk to people! My inner-hermit is rejoicing. I'll be the stoic, silent counselor who is marvelously supportive but in a... quiet way.

Ah yes. And then pigs shall fly.

Lists Are Good Things, Yes?

It's been a fairly eventful week or so (however long it's been since I've posted), so I'll highlight the basics in list-form, as is my wont. Here goes:

1. "Honour" went excessively well. For all that we had two weeks to rehearse, we did a kickass job and I'm so proud of the finished product. As an actress, I grew. I grew as a person, too - having to understand the show and how my character worked within it was a cathartic experience. Also, le stalker only showed up once and I fled the scene before he could talk to me. Yes, I am a coward. But a smart one, yes?

2. I have a job at Camp Krislund. I start my training on the 1st and I'm really excited for it. I'm a senior counselor. :-D

3. I'm back in Pennsylvania now and I have two weeks to just relax and enrich my brain. And also read Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfiction.

4. In case you hadn't gotten the gist from above, I have developed an unhealthy addiction to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Or, more specifically, to Giles - my bespectacled, British, tweedy, geeky, and entirely kickass favorite character. Were he real, I would marry him.

5. I participated in a voice masterclass last week and - well, to say the least, it went very well. The woman giving the masterclass was so impressed with my voice that she has offered me her spare room in her apartment in NYC while she sets me up for auditions. I would be auditioning for people who would give me grants and scholarships, and also for the Metropolitan Opera's Young Artist Program. Hopefully, all of this will involve international study and eventually a spot at the Met. (Top artists at the Met get paid $15,000 per performance. Just imagine.) All of this will occur next year. I'm to call to set things up in October.

6. I haven't been sleeping much these past few weeks. Right after S. got sick the first time, I started getting bad nightmares - the strongest theme running through these nightmares was an unholy sense of helplessness. I would wake in a terror and then not sleep for the rest of the night. The nightmares had gone away and I thought it was just a fluke - but now they're back, and I can't figure out what the trigger is. It's driving me a little bit nuts. I'm tired - exhausted, really, and I need to get rest before camp.

There. That's been the past week or however long it's been. Ups and downs - but happily, mostly ups!

Clarity?

When a person says in a somewhat impatient - well, actually, just plain rude - way that they need "space" and "time", does this automatically translate to "two days and then start sending messages and IM's and texts" again? I'm just wondering.

In relation to this, I have hopefully erradicated the stalker-problem. Hopefully.

In other news, I'm pretty sure I'm ready to be off-book tonight for the show.

And my email isn't working.

That is all.

Grumpy Face

I have a stalker. A real, honest-to-goodness stalker. I know girls who have bragged about having stalkers. How is this a good thing, I wonder? If it goes any further, I've already reassured my roommate that I'm calling the police. He knows where I live. He left me flowers in my car, for fuck's sake. I feel all... weird and uncomfortable about it.

In other news, I'm moving back to Pennsylvania for the summer. I have a job at Krislund. Thank God - the news could not have come at a better time.